8. July 2010 by admin.

Are you in the flow? Do you feel that your life is filled with purposeful and enjoyable activities? Or on the contrary, do you feel stuck and uninspired? A state of flow is achieved when the mind and/or body are engaged in a challenging and worthwhile activity. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi writes in his book that in order to create flow, some conditions need to be met: set clear goals, find a way to measure progress, learn new skills that will help you take on new challenges.

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18. June 2010 by admin.

Giving and receiving does not always come easy and naturally for some of us. Sometimes we make a conscious effort to reach out and open up. We may share a difficult challenge or feeling with a close friend, or we can look into ways to volunteer and share our resources with someone in need. Other times, the situation finds us without us looking for it. Maybe a friend, neighbour or family member needs our help. I’ve recently experienced this. My husband sprained his ankle playing sports. He couldn’t walk on his left foot for a while, he had to wear a brace and he couldn’t drive his standard car. He was upset that it happened right at the beginning of summer. He felt incapacitated and annoyed that he had lost some of his independence. He had to adjust to a new schedule filled with physiotherapy sessions, stretching and sitting, while letting go of high impact sports. In the beginning, he resisted the new situation. He tried to control it by looking for everything available under the sun that could help his ankle recover to perfection. It was hard for him to let go and accept help, as well as to accept help the way it was given, rather then his perfect idea of what it should be. I took on additional responsibility and took care of him the best I could. I had a hard time accepting his feelings and I tried to distract him or “fix” the way he felt. We both learned valuable  lessons and we managed to eventually be there for each other that brought us even closer. He got used to rely on others, being more acceptant of things outside of his control and me finding a way to just hold the space for him with love and compassion without rushing the recovery process or trying to make the pain/suffering go away. Once you open up to receive, you are more willing to give in return and to be grateful. Once you start giving, you become more compassionate with yourself as well.

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18. May 2010 by admin.

Do you feel you are checking things off your to-do list but still don’t get a feeling of satisfaction when completed? Do you do fun things that you do not connect with? You are in action, keeping busy, getting things done,  but still feel like there is something more to life? Maybe you need some inspiration. Maybe it is not enough to check things off, but to ask yourself if those things are a reflection of your deepest values, of what matters most for you.  Where do we get the inspiration for our actions? You start by creating a vision for yourself.  Envision how would your life look like, what meaningful work would you do, who would you spend the most time with, what activities would you do for fun and relaxation, what environment would you prefer? You can put this vision in a few words or in a few images and connect with it often.  Once you have the vision, you can go a step further and create a plan that will keep all of the above in check. This way, you are not just doing things, you are taking inspired action. Pay attention to your energy levels to differentiate between the two. Taking inspired action is what helps you remain motivated through a transition/life change.

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5. March 2010 by admin.

What do you do when you encounter a challenge or a problem? Most likely you try to think your way out of it. You try to get clarity by looking at the pros and cons, looking at solutions - all very valuable tools. What if you still cannot take a decision? What if none of the solutions feel right or tempting to you? We have another resource to deal with that - our intuition. What is intuition? One definition is “attaining direct knowledge without evident rational thought”. You just know. Don’t worry if you lost touch with your intuition or you are just beginning to develop it.  A simple way to get started is the following.  Before you go to bed, ask a specific question. Whether the question is about what do to (asking for guidance) or how can you be happier (asking to understand your emotions) , write it down before you go to bed and let it go. Do not try to answer it. Instead, set an intention to be aware of any clues or opportunities arising in the next few days. Maybe your intuition will speak to you through a vivid dream, a sensation in your body, an idea, a person you meet, or an opportunity that shows up unexpectedly. Just keep your eyes open. Maybe the old saying “Sleep on it” refers to letting your intuition guide you.

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12. February 2010 by admin.

Do you feel stuck into “wanting” or “trying” to be or have something different? Do you always find something that needs to change about your life, your career, your relationships, your house, your family? Something that you consider not right? You look forward for that day when things will be different and you will be happy. You focus so much on what you want in the future that you miss the opportunities showing up in the present. I love to quote a wise turtle who once said: You are too concerned with what was and what will be. The future is a mystery, the past is history but today is a gift…that is why we call it the present. Can you experiment with the idea that your current circumstances are “just right” for you right now? Can you look for ways to work with them, rather then against them? To improve on what you have rather then resist it? Can you see the lesson or gift in your situation? When we adopt the perspective that things are OK as they are, we regain all the energy that we use to waste on struggling and resisting what was happening. What will you do with the extra energy?

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27. December 2009 by admin.

Holidays can be a time of joy and cheer or a time of overwhelm and disappointment.  I made some time this holiday season to reflect on what the holiday season really means to me.  I realized that I want to do what makes me happy, rather then following blindly what I have done in the previous years. Personally, I like to spend time outdoors, read a good book, be with close friends, sing, spend time in silence and quietude to get in touch with my true self.  If you feel overwhelmed, unmotivated or angry, chances are you are not doing what makes you happy. You either do things because you “have to” or because you run on automatic pilot. What about what you “want to”? What about creating a ritual/celebration that works for you this year? What about looking at each day as a clean slate, a white canvas? You are the artist, the painter - you decide what goes on the page and what colors to use.  Whether it is a new year or a new day, you have the freedom to create your own work of art. If you don’t like something you worked on, you can modify it or toss it away.

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23. September 2009 by admin.

Transitions happen in nature all the time. We are now preparing for the fall. The temperatures, the scenery, our daily routines and activities change.  Some people feel a surge of energy when fall approaches - temperatures are more comfortable, school starts, new projects, etc. For others fall is just the messenger of winter - a time to be more withdrawn and meditative. Whatever the case, the equinox (when the day is equal to the night) is a reminder for keeping grounded and balanced through transitions. Consider a couple of questions as you prepare for the next season: What are you harvesting this fall? What do you need to let go of to be in balance in your life? What do you need more of to be in balance?

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4. September 2009 by admin.

Did you ever react to a situation the same old way? Did you fall into old behaviors, without understanding why? For example, did you reach for the fridge/pantry to get that extra snack when you were not hungry? Did you light up a cigarette? Did you feel stressed out and overreact to your spouse, your child or a fellow driver? Many times, without realizing it perhaps, we try to numb our feelings with self-destructive behaviors (over-eating, smoking) or we lash out at others without much thought. When this happens, there is a reaction to the situation. The reaction comes from somewhere in the past and it is powerless. It is resistance without much thought.

First step to change your reaction is to stop, take a deep breath and become aware of your feelings. Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? Angry, restless, resentful, impatient?  Am I frustrated or annoyed about something? Am I bored? Be kind to yourself. Those are normal human feelings that we all experience from time to time.

With a compassionate state of mind, the next step is to follow the inquiry and find out what thought/judgment is triggering those feelings.

Let us say you are feeling uneasy when the people around you are not paying attention to you at that particular moment. Maybe they are making a phone call, working, watching TV or cooking. It is possible you did not received the appropriate attention as a child and now you feel ignored, rejected or abandoned when you don’t receive attention a hundred percent of the time. You get upset and angry with your spouse without realizing it.

Maybe you get mad at your kids that they do not listen to you. Maybe you feel threatened by the loss of control; you feel they do not measure up to your expectations or you do not measure up to your idea of parenthood.

Do you get mad that someone cut you in traffic and you take it personally? Maybe you think – he has no respect for me, I will teach him a lesson.

Your interpretation of the events creates the uneasiness. Over time, you will learn what are the triggers – what brings you to that state of reaction? Once you identify the triggers, the judgments and the feeling, you can look for ways to respond.

What could be a more useful interpretation? What can you do about it? Choose any number of responsible actions – then the action is a response. For example, the spouse is just busy, he/she is not ignoring you. You can use this time to take better care of yourself, nurture your soul - do some yoga or dance; read a book; call a friend and arrange a meeting for a future time. 

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28. December 2007 by admin.

Doing characterizes most of our life. Do more to have more to be more happy. Is it true though? Is doing more bringing us more bliss and satisfaction? We think that we have no other choice living in this society, but to keep up with the fast pace, the competition, the increased productivity. You stretch yourself and push yourself hard to achieve!Well, I discovered that what brings me more satisfaction and happiness is being, rather then doing. Being in the moment, savoring the experience, savoring the many ways life chooses to express itself. Being in the moment makes me happy with less, and the need for doing and achieving and accomplishments diminishes.Of course, this doesn’t mean being a couch potato. It means following your bliss, living out your passions on a daily basis. This is what fuels us. Do something because you get pleasure and meaning from it, not because you need to make more money and buy more things (unless this is your passion). We are spiritual beings, we were given gifts and talents and feelings to use them and express them into the world. If we bring our unique contribution to the world, we will in turn have all we need.When you feel the pulse of your life, and try to live in accordance with that, you will start being in the flow. Everything will become effortless. When you want something to realize in your life, think: Is it another way to obtain this, that will require less effort and bring me more of what I want?

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2. November 2007 by admin.

Life is a series of transitions. When we finish with one goal, overcome one challenge, we move on to the next.

I finished my life coach training with the ICA academy; 2 years, 123 hours of teleclasses on topics ranging from coaching techniques to business building, homework, research paper, 72 hours of client interaction. I am looking forward to the graduation ceremony coming up in a month.This is a great achievement, a big step in changing careers and becoming a coach, doing what I love, helping others in the process. My dream come true.However, I rush right away in the next thing - marketing my business and getting clients. The cycle of planning and working hard starts all over again. Something inside me (probably my intuition, my inner wisdom) tells me to slow down for a while, to linger over this accomplishment, to soak it in. It tells me to think about my journey, my hard work, my successes and lessons learned, and to give myself time to see where this fits into my life and celebrate it accordingly.If we go from one transition to another, without taking the time to look back and asses how far we’ve come, our life becomes a series of running from one obstacle to another without ever crossing the finish line. But we always want something more!By stopping for a moment and allowing ourselves breathing time and re-assessment time, checking the progress and enjoying the fruits of our labor, we can successfully finish many races and cross many finish lines. This gives us the enthusiasm to keep going and enjoy life.

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